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2 Corinthians 6:14–15 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"

Think

A friend of mine owned a brand new Ferrari. One day he was going out of town and he dropped it off at my house. He said, "Ed, drive it." I had never driven a Ferrari before, so I thought, “Yeah, this is going to be great.” The kids were begging me to take them to school in it. "Dad, please, please, please!" They made me drive around the campus three or four times before I let them out. For a few days it was incredible. The sound of that engine. The way people looked when you pulled up to a stoplight.

But after a while, to be honest with you, the shine started to wear off. I am tall, and I was folding myself into that car like origami. I scraped the bottom going into my driveway. I could not fit my workout bag, my gear, my friends. And really, I know this sounds crazy, the Ferrari just did not do it for me. Three to four days, and the shine was gone.

Here is what I have noticed about dating. People get mesmerized by a few features. The smile. The career. The personality at a dinner party. And before they have checked anything under the hood, they are ready to drive off the lot. That is the showroom floor mentality. And it wrecks people.

The most important question you can ask about the person you are dating is not "Are they attractive?" It is not "Do they have a good job?" It is not even "Do they make me laugh?" The most important question is this: “Who is driving?”

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

A yoke is a wooden frame that connected two animals so they could plow in a straight line. A smart farmer would yoke animals of equal strength. If he put a bull on one side and a donkey on the other, they would plow in circles. All day long, just going in circles. Getting nowhere.

God is not being restrictive when he tells us to date and marry believers. He is being protective. He knows that when two people are pulling in different directions spiritually, the relationship does not go straight. It goes in circles. And circles, no matter how fast you are moving, do not take you anywhere.

Think about this. If Jesus is not driving this person’s life, then who is? They are. And a self-driven life is an unpredictable ride. It might look impressive in the showroom. The exterior might gleam. The features might catch your eye. But the engine is running on the wrong fuel, and eventually that car is going to break down somewhere you do not want to be.

I love the way Paul frames it. "What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?" That is not a subtle question. That is a stark, black-and-white, no-room-for-negotiation question. Light and darkness do not blend. They cannot coexist. One always displaces the other.

Some people try to get around this by becoming what I call “evangelist daters.” They meet someone who is not a believer and think, "I will lead them to the Lord. I can change them." In over thirty years of ministry, I can count on one hand the times that has actually worked. What usually happens is the opposite. The unbeliever does not come up to the believer’s level. The believer comes down. Because intimacy is powerful, and when you are emotionally entangled with someone, they will pull you away from where you should be faster than you can pull them up.

And here is the flip side. When Jesus truly is behind the wheel, you can see it. You do not have to guess. The person prays and it sounds like they are talking to someone they actually know. They read the Bible not because they have to but because they want to. When life hits them hard, and it will, they do not crumble. They lean in. They lean into the community of faith. They lean into the Word. They lean into worship. That is what a Christ-driven life looks like, and it is unmistakable.

You would never get into a car without knowing who is behind the wheel. You would never hand your keys to a stranger and say, "Take me wherever you want." But that is exactly what people do in relationships every single day. They get in without checking the driver. And then they wonder why they ended up in a ditch.

That Ferrari looked unbelievable in my driveway. But it was not built for my life. It could not carry what I needed to carry. It could not go where I needed to go. And the shine that made it so appealing on day one was completely gone by day four. Do not let the shine make the decision for you. Look behind the wheel. If Jesus is not driving, keep walking.

Apply

Look behind the wheel – The next time you are evaluating a relationship, ask one question first: Is Jesus driving this person’s life? If you cannot tell, that is your answer. Do not let attraction make a decision that only discernment should make.

Pray

Lord, give me eyes to see past the surface. I confess that I am drawn to features that fade and impressed by things that do not last. Teach me to look for what matters most. Give me the courage to walk away from the wrong thing and the patience to wait for the right one. I trust your timing more than my impulses. In Jesus’ name. Amen.