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Ephesians 4:15 “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

Think

For many people, kindness and truth feel like opposites. We assume you can either be honest or be nice—but not both. If you tell someone what they don’t want to hear, you’re being harsh. If you say nothing, you’re being kind. But in Scripture, kindness is not the absence of truth. It’s the way truth is delivered. Ephesians 4:15 says, “Speaking the truth in love, we will grow.” In other words, truth is necessary for growth. And it’s most effective when it’s carried on the back of love. Love is not soft-spoken avoidance. It’s courageous, relational, and rooted in what’s best for the other person.

Kindness without truth can lead to flattery, enablement, or confusion. Truth without kindness can feel like condemnation. But when the two come together—truth spoken with love, honesty wrapped in grace—they become transformative. That kind of kindness is not afraid to speak up. But it refuses to do so in a way that wounds, shames, or belittles.

Jesus modeled this perfectly. He never compromised truth—but he never weaponized it either. With the woman caught in adultery, he both defended her from her accusers and told her to leave her life of sin. With the rich young ruler, he looked at him with love and then spoke the hard truth that exposed his idol. With Peter, he both restored him and confronted him. His kindness made space for truth to be heard—not just said.

This is where many of us struggle. Either we’re conflict-avoidant and stay quiet when something needs to be addressed, or we’re overly blunt and leave people feeling bruised. The Spirit wants to shape us into people who can do both—who can carry hard truth without a hard heart.

That means we don’t stay silent when we see someone drifting. We don’t let dysfunction slide because we want to “keep the peace.” And we don’t excuse unkind truth-telling with phrases like, “I’m just being real.” Instead, we pause. We pray. We ask God to check our motives. And then we speak truth with a tone, posture, and spirit that reflect Jesus. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is tell someone what they don’t want to hear—but need to. Not to control them. Not to prove something. But to invite them toward growth. Truth is always meant to build, not break. And kindness is what allows truth to be received, not just delivered.

There’s also kindness in how you speak truth to yourself. Some of us need to hear honest words not with harshness, but with grace. Not through the voice of shame, but the voice of the Spirit who convicts, restores, and calls us forward in love. If your internal dialogue is full of truth but empty of kindness, it’s not coming from Jesus. This also applies to everyday moments: a correction to your child, a boundary with a friend, a hard conversation at work, a word of accountability to someone in your circle. Ask yourself, “Does this reflect both truth and love? Am I showing kindness in how I say it, not just what I say?”

When kindness and truth walk together, the results are powerful. People don’t just hear what’s wrong—they feel safe enough to grow. They don’t just get told the truth—they are led toward healing. And that’s when transformation begins.

Apply

Think of a conversation you’ve been avoiding or rushing through—one where truth needs to be spoken, but kindness needs to lead. Take time to pray before that moment. Ask the Spirit to guide your words and your tone. Then, speak with clarity and compassion. Let kindness hold the door open for truth.

Pray

Jesus, you always spoke truth—and you always did it with love. Teach me to do the same. Help me see where I’ve avoided hard conversations or delivered truth without grace. Fill me with your Spirit so that my words reflect both courage and compassion. Let my kindness create space for growth—in others and in myself. In Jesus’ name. Amen.