Read

Hebrews 10:24–25 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Think

I recently joined Lifetime Fitness. If you have ever been to one of those places, you know it is quite an operation. Pools, basketball courts, saunas, smoothie bars. Membership has its benefits. Well, I went to work out one night and my app was not working. I walked up to the front desk and went through this whole process with the woman behind the counter. She pulled up my information. She scrolled through screens. She tapped on her keyboard. And finally she looked up and said, "You are good. You can work out."

I walked away thinking, what if we did that at Fellowship Church? What if before anyone walked in on a Sunday morning, someone stopped them at the door and said, "Excuse me, let me check your account." Of course we are not going to do that. But the thought stuck with me because it highlights something important. Being a member of something and being invested in something are two very different things.

The writer of Hebrews puts it this way: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Not giving up meeting together. That is not a suggestion. That is a command wrapped in an encouragement. The writer knew that people would drift. That life would get busy. That showing up would start to feel optional. And he addressed it directly. Do not give up. Do not pull away. The more you see the world unraveling, the more you need the community of believers around you.

Here is something I have said many times. If someone tells you they love Jesus but they are not involved in a local church, something does not add up. That would be like me saying, "I love surfing, but I hate the ocean." You cannot separate the two. Surfing requires the ocean. Following Jesus requires his church.

I was talking with a woman in her mid-forties who had been dating a man for several months. He was kind. He had a good career. He even said he was a believer. But when she asked him about church, he brushed it off. "I do not really need to go to a building to have a relationship with God," he said.

On the surface, that sounds philosophical. Even enlightened. But in practice, it is a warning sign the size of a billboard. Because the local church is not a building. It is the body of Christ. It is where we are held accountable. Where we serve. Where we grow. Where we receive correction we would never seek on our own. And a person who has opted out of all of that is telling you something about their spiritual maturity, whether they realize it or not.

The Bible calls the church the bride of Christ. So, if someone says they love the groom but want nothing to do with the bride, they do not understand the relationship. Christ loves the church. He gave himself up for her. And when we are truly following him, we will love what he loves.

I am not talking about perfection. I am not saying this person has to lead a small group or teach a class before you consider dating them. I am saying look for a heart that is oriented toward the body of believers. Someone who shows up consistently. Someone who serves willingly. Someone who is known in a faith community by name, not just someone who streams a sermon from the couch when the mood strikes.

Think about what the writer of Hebrews is describing. "Spur one another on toward love and good deeds." That requires proximity. You cannot spur someone on from a distance. You cannot encourage someone you never see. The Christian life was never designed to be a solo operation. It was designed for community. For accountability. For the kind of growth that only happens when iron sharpens iron. And a relationship without that kind of community around it is a relationship without guardrails.

When I stood at that front desk at the gym with my broken app, the woman did not turn me away. She checked the records and confirmed I belonged. That is what the local church does for us spiritually. It is a place where we belong. Where we are known. Where someone will notice if we stop showing up. So, when you are evaluating the person you are dating, ask yourself: Do they have a heart for the house? Not just a passing interest. Not just a holiday appearance. A heart. Because the church is not something we attend. It is something we are.

Apply

Show up and serve – If you are dating someone who does not have a church home, that is a major red flag. And if you do not have a church home yourself, fix that first. This week, commit to one act of service in your local church.

Pray

God, thank you for the church. Thank you for not leaving me to figure this out alone. Forgive me for the times I have treated your body like an option instead of a priority. Give me a heart for the house. Help me to be someone who shows up, who serves, who encourages others, and who looks for the same commitment in the people I allow into my life. In Jesus’ name. Amen.