What Makes Someone a Godly Leader?

A while back, I was invited to a leadership symposium on Lake Michigan. High-level leaders, people you'd recognize. The host went around the room asking everyone what leadership books they were reading. One guy was reading five at once. Another had three going. When it came to me I said, "I've never read a leadership book." The room went quiet. "I've written a couple of them, but I've never read one."

Here's what I told them instead: I ask questions.

Not a system. Not a framework. Not a methodology I learned at a conference. Questions. Real ones. To real people. In real time.

That's it. And I'm convinced it's the most underused leadership tool available to anyone — and the one most leaders are worst at. It's also what separates a merely good leader from a godly leader.

The habit we think we have but don't

I sat down once in a coffee shop with a young pastor who had just started a church — maybe 55 people showing up. He found out I was the pastor of Fellowship Church and asked me to sit with him. I was there for an hour. He talked about himself for the entire hour. Never asked me one question. At the end he started critiquing Fellowship Church.

I got back in my SUV, grabbed the steering wheel and said, "Lord, I pray that is never, ever me."

Here's the uncomfortable part: most of us think we ask questions. We don't. Not really. We ask enough to create an opening to talk about ourselves. We fire off a quick "how are you?" with no intention of waiting for the answer. We're not seeking knowledge — we're seeking our next turn to speak.

The Bible says there are 3,000 questions in Scripture. Jesus alone asked 300 of them. God, who is omniscient and already knows everything, is the most inquisitive being in the universe. He didn't ask questions because he needed information. He asked questions because questions are how you invite someone into growth. ASK — Always Seeking Knowledge. That's the posture of a godly leader.

The two questions that changed Moses

Exodus 18 is one of the most overlooked leadership chapters in the entire Bible. Moses had just led two million Jews out of Egyptian slavery. He'd seen God do miracle after miracle. And now he was camped at the base of Mount Sinai, trying to handle every single dispute, question, and problem that two million people could generate — alone, from morning until evening.

His father-in-law Jethro showed up, watched for one day, and asked him two questions:

What are you doing? That's information.

Why are you doing it? That's explanation.

Two questions. That's all it took. And those two questions exposed something Moses couldn't see from inside his own situation — that he was burning himself out doing things other people could do, and neglecting the things only he could do.

Jethro's advice was simple: delegate. Not relegate — delegate. There's a big difference. Relegation is out of sight, out of mind. Delegation is offloading responsibility and then inspecting what you've handed off. Moses set up leaders over thousands, hundreds, and fifties. He kept the big stuff. He let go of the rest.

The Bible says in Exodus 18:24: "Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said." That's worth stopping on. Moses — the man who parted the Red Sea, who spoke face to face with God — took advice from his father-in-law. He was humble enough to be taught by the most unexpected person in the room. That's what godly leaders do.

The four-question framework

When you start asking the right people the right questions, here's what you're actually doing: you're running everything through a filter. Here's the filter I use.

What does this confirm? When I get a good answer from someone, does it line up with where God is already leading? If it confirms direction, that's a green light.

What should I copy? God gave you eyes — use them. Some of the best ideas in my leadership have come from watching what someone else built and asking how they did it. There's no pride in reinventing the wheel. Every creative decision we've made at Fellowship Church started with asking the right people how they did something first.

What should I cancel? Not every system you're running deserves to keep running. Sometimes the answer to a good question is that something needs to stop. Cancel it. You don't always need metrics to justify it.

What should I create? What does this conversation open up? What's possible now that wasn't possible before? The best questions don't just give you answers — they give you new ideas.

The problem with pride and fear

There are two reasons leaders stop asking questions: pride and fear.

Pride says, "I've already figured this out. What could that person possibly tell me?" I've sat across from pastors leading 50 people and learned things I couldn't have gotten from a consultant charging thousands an hour. The person who mows your lawn might know something about time management, persistence, or customer relationships that changes how you lead your team. Every person you rub shoulders with knows things you don't. Observation without investigation leads to limitation.

Fear says, "What if the answer means I have to change something? What if I find out I've been doing it wrong?" That's exactly what Jethro's questions did to Moses. They revealed that his whole leadership model was broken. That could have felt like failure. Moses chose to treat it as a gift.

The leaders who grow are the ones who can receive critique — not criticism, critique. Criticism tears you down. Critique makes you better. Build relationships where people feel safe telling you what's actually true, and then when they do, step up instead of blowing up, shutting down, or throwing it back at them.

The most important question

Here's the thing about questions, though. The two questions Jethro asked Moses — what are you doing and why are you doing it — are powerful for leadership, marriage, parenting, and every significant relationship. But they're still not the most important questions you'll ever face.

The most important question anyone will ever answer is the one Jesus asked his disciples at Caesarea Philippi: "Who do you say that I am?"

Every other question about leadership, purpose, and direction ultimately flows from how you answer that one. Ask the right people the right questions to get the right answers — and start with God.